Incoming dad jokes: What subject do cats like best?..................HISS-TORY.................... Justice is a dish best served cold........ otherwise, it's just water.......................... I can always tell when someone's lying... I can tell when they're standing too........................ Some people pick their nose, but I was born with mine.................................. How do you make holy water?...... You boil the hell out of it.......................... If your house is cold, just stand in the corner...... It's always 90 degrees there................... The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me while I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. he said, "Fine, suit yourself.".......................................... I found a book called how to solve 50% of your problems, so I bought 2....................... Did you hear about the pirate who became a great chef? He mastered the seven sea-sonings.............. What do you call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending............. I was going to tell you a joke about boxing, but I forgot the punchline........